The AVN Awards

CONTENT WARNING: As with most things associated with the AVN, this post contains quotes of their crude language.

Fred Fitzsimmons, 2008 AVN Adult Movie Awards

… but don’t forget, it’s the little people that makes this industry profitable, and by the little people of course, I mean Asian men [laughter, camera pans to an Asian male (not Keni Styles) who smiles, given where he was seated he would seem to be a porn star]. Now, [pause] they love their porn, they like to watch it, but we never put ’em in it, what’s up with that? It’s always like the pizza delivery guy who fucks everybody with his giant schlong, nobody ever sends out for Chinese.

2011 AVN Adult Movie Awards

Dave Navarro: And yourself sweetie, what’s going on?
Kim Tao: I’m Kim Tao, I’m new. Suck and fuck a whole lot more.
Dave Navarro: Now, now, let me ask you a favour, what nationality are you?
Kim Tao: I’m Vietnamese
Dave Navarro: Now would you mind taking a look at this cuticle?
Kim Tao: Oh they’re so cute [hits his hand away].

Euro pre-show female hosts: Look who we have here, it’s Lisa Lampanelli … I’m such a big fan … So is it true that you married a white man?
Lampanelli: Yes I did
Pre-show host: I thought you liked black cock
Lampanelli: Well what had happened was, as you know, I had blown more black guys than hurricane Katrina.
Pre-show hosts: True.
Lampanelli: However, I said let me find a guy with no kids, you gotta go white.
Pre-show host: You have to.
Lampanelli: It’s not like I went Asian or something really small because you know please …
Pre-show host: You need to …
Lampanelli: I mean they’re really small, and Jews too …
Pre-show host: Yeaaah
Lampanelli: Except for Ron Jeremy, [rarrr!] hi Ron.
Pre-show host: We didn’t know you [indistinguishable] … would you fuck Ron Jeremy?
Pre-show host: You did?
Lampanelli: No, no I did not, no I did not [laughs]

Lisa Lampanelli, AVN Awards Show 2011

… they sent me a huge box of porn to prepare, I gotta tell you something, you men have huge dicks! If I had one of them in my face I wouldn’t know if I would suck it or feed it a peanut. They also sent me a few black porn which I love, oh yes! [crowd cheers] …. So wait a minute, I’m watching these DVDs and I realize that there’s no porn with Asian men, you know why,? it’s gotta be that small dick thing you know [some in the crowd murmur disapprovingly] … oh come on! [camera shoots to Keni Styles who looks kinda pissed] … oh there is one!!! oh I’m sorry! … I know you sister Sum Dum Hoe, she’s terrific [Keni does a stereotypical coolie bow]. He is so cute. Actually I’ve never even slept with an Asian guy cause you know I’m trying to have an orgasm not get my computer fixed [crowd laughs and Keni joins them]. Actually though I did see a gay Japanese porn once, gay and Japanese, you know what that means, they green tea bag each other [crowd cheers]. They’ll toss you salad but they have to take off their shoes first [crowd cheers]. They’ll gobble your knob but they’ll take about a hundred pictures while they’re doing it [crowd cheers]. There was actually a porn once with a handicap guy, did you ever see this shit, a handicap guy? Handicap guy, I date …. [someone in the audience is talking indistinctly to her] what’s that?, he’s Asian and handicapped, God must really hate him [cuts to French couple Katsuni & Manuel Ferrara with Katsuni looking amazed that Lampanelli would even say that while her husband Manuel is smiling, perhaps he agrees, crowd sounds stunned and murmurs with some laughter]. Actually, the handicapped guy was really hot …. [so she didn’t know he was Asian?]. All this porn, I love you guys because you do wild stuff [I thought Asians were the ones who went overboard on wild porn], oh my God, there was a porn where a [voice and facial emphasis] guy licked the girl’s asshole. You know what I heard it taste like? a penny. Look at all the Jews are like [growling voice] sign me up! [cuts to Jenna Haze laughing then nervously stops as she realizes she’s on camera].

Are these awards or stereotype fests?


3 thoughts on “The AVN Awards

    • They may be funny but they are hurtful and are used to continually stereotype non-Europeans as not normal in some form and it impacts so-called interracial marriage and dating trends. The Gay AVN also has awards which I suspect may be even worse in non-European bashing.

  1. Pingback: From Ethnic Muse: The AVN Awards | blograju

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